The Top 5 regrets of the dying ~ Bonnie Ware

For many years Bonnie Ware worked in palliative care. Her patients were those who had gone home to die. Some incredibly special times were shared. She was with them for the last three to twelve weeks of their lives.

Bonnie stated that people grow a lot when they are faced with their own mortality. She learnt never to underestimate someone's capacity for growth. Some changes were phenomenal. Each experienced a variety of emotions, as expected, denial, fear, anger, remorse, more denial and eventually acceptance. Every single patient found their peace before they departed though, every single one of them.

When questioned about any regrets they had or anything they would do differently, common themes surfaced again and again. 

Here are the top five comments:

 "I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me. "

This was the most common regret of all. When people realise that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honoured even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made.

It is very important to try and honour at least some of your dreams along the way. From the moment that you lose your health, it is too late. Health brings a freedom very few realise, until they no longer have it.

" I wish I didn't work so hard."

This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children's youth and their partner's companionship. Women also spoke of this regret. But as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence.

By simplifying your lifestyle and making conscious choices along the way, it is possible to not need the income that you think you do. And by creating more space in your life, you become happier and more open to new opportunities, ones more suited to your new lifestyle.

"I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings."

Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result.

We cannot control the reactions of others. However, although people may initially react when you change the way you are by speaking honestly, in the end it raises the relationship to a whole new and healthier level. Either that or it releases the unhealthy relationship from your life. Either way, you win.

"I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends."

Often they would not truly realise the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying.

It is common for anyone in a busy lifestyle to let friendships slip. But when you are faced with your approaching death, the physical details of life fall away. People do want to get their financial affairs in order if possible. But it is not money or status that holds the true importance for them. They want to get things in order more for the benefit of those they love. Usually though, they are too ill and weary to ever manage this task. It is all comes down to love and relationships in the end. That is all that remains in the final weeks, love and relationships.

"I wish that I had let myself be happier."

This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realise until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called 'comfort' of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content. When deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again.

When you are on your deathbed, what others think of you is a long way from your mind. How wonderful to be able to let go and smile again, long before you are dying.

Life is a choice. 

It is YOUR life. 

Choose consciously, choose wisely, choose honestly. 

Choose happiness.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Based on this article, Bronnie has now released a full length book titled The Top Five Regrets of the Dying - A Life Transformed by the Dearly Departing. It is a memoir of her own life and how it was transformed through the regrets of the dying people she cared for. This inspiring book is available internationally through Hay House.

What Dreams May Come - for me?

Written by August Goforth, a Psychotherapist and co-author of THE RISEN

"Rob, a colleague and friend who has an passionate interest in spirit rescue, recently commented:

"I am really starting to understand the challenging, difficult, confusing egocentric realm of soul rescue work. If people 'die' totally ego-centric - it would seem to me that on transition they could possibly self perceive as being 'consciously dead,' 'cut off' or even completely 'estranged' from all previous self-understanding . . . because of one's transported physically diminishing 'this is me' physically-created sensate consciousness . . . a state of 'spiritual alzheimer's' - created by a physically-manifested 'identity crisis' - as our ego selves are denied all physical-based sensory input, along with no perceived link to one's Authentic Self! That state of 'total sensate deprivation' with no Risen awareness - could become a real hell-like existence for some disembodied souls!"

Well said with words for such a dense and often difficult subject. One can see in Rob's thought process the progression towards working it all out from outside an ego-mentality. And indeed, a seemingly real hellish geography can arise from one's mistaken beliefs about self and mortality. Rob's comments made me think of a particular scene in the beautiful 1998 movie, "What Dreams May Come" — where a very clinically depressed person, after several failed attempts, manages a successful suicide, and becomes at once lost, seemingly without hope, in an environment made of her own mindless act. She is unable and unwilling to ask for help.

Fortunately, she is saved by her compassionate and loving non-judgmental partner, who refuses to join in her beliefs. Unfortunately, the ego-mind that wrote the material resolves everything with its own logic by jettisoning the two back to earth via reincarnation, "to try again."

In reality, what mostly likely would happen is that after her healed self-consciousness is raised a bit in vibration, much higher-vibrating Risen would be able to reach her and lift her up to the next level in her transition. Whether she would become fully Risen at that point depends on her level of vibration, understanding, and acquiescence to assistance.

The film does a commendable job of showing how our thinking — sane or not — manifests one's reality.

When someone kills their own body, or "self-exits" as it's termed inThe Risen, it seems as if a cosmic monkey wrench has been thrown into the works, upsetting everything and everybody. Viewed at from a perspective of Authentic Self, it can be seen that the act, and most of the reactions from others afterwards, are all fear-based. Vanquish the fear:

“We see in your mind that fear of the future, of punishment, of judgment, weighs heavily around such decisions. There is fear that you will not be able to be with those whom you love and that they will be unable to reach you. There need not be any fear. If you are in suffering when you arrive after leaving your body, you will be attended to unless you desire otherwise. Healing is always available and the opportunities to learn will continue. Those whom you love and who love you will be available. Those who are higher can move to the lower, but the lower cannot as easily move to the higher. And even when it can, it cannot sustain that movement. Their vibrations may be of a higher nature than yours and so they may have varying qualities of presence, and thus they may seemingly dwell on a different plane. But the nature of love is such that all dwelling places, all positions of vibration are totally, perfectly appropriate. Love allows all who are similar to intermingle in some way. The more present you are to yourself, the more present you will be to others like yourself. If in seeking to obliterate your consciousness because of the pain, this will be achieved because it is important to you and you have made the decision that this is to be so. You will eventually awaken in the arms of those who love you and who understand and accept you. No one will shun you, none will condemn you.

From Chapter 11 - Grief Evolved and Self-Exiting (The Risen, p. 105)

In such a relationship as the one Tim and I are blessed to share, there is little time or space for judgment because there is so little fear at this point. Instead, there is a shared, committed acceptance of the knowledge that there is no death, and never will be. This irreversible knowledge, based on my experience here on Earth, and Tim's awareness as Risen, could never support a resolution of differences by a "reincarnational transition." As Tim says, it's "Onward, Ho!" from here on, forevermore."

August Goforth

Different Paths Same Destination

Regardless of our religious upbringing, the following quote by Siddhãrtha Gautama (Buddha) reminds each of us to question everything that influenced our religious development, before blindly choosing following the masses. We should critique our religious influences based to see whether it has a basic concept of loving service toward all, maintains and integrity of universal purpose, and engages one with a personal depth of conviction:

"Do not believe in anything simply because you have heard it. 

Do not believe in anything simply because it is spoken and rumored by many.

Do not believe in anything simply because it is found written in your religious books.

Do not believe in anything merely on the authority of your teachers and elders.

Do not believe in traditions simply because they have been handed down for many generations.

But after observation and analysis, when you find that anything agrees with reason and is conducive to the good and benefit of one and all, then accept it and live up to it."

You and I and Quantum Physics

Nobel Prize winning physicists have proven beyond doubt that the physical world is one large sea of energy that flashes into and out of being in milliseconds, over and over again.

Nothing is solid.

This is the world of Quantum Physics.

They have proven that thoughts are what put together and hold together this ever-changing energy field into the ‘objects’ that we see.

So why do we see a person instead of a flashing cluster of energy?

Think of a movie reel.

A movie is a collection of about 24 frames a second. Each frame is separated by a gap. However, because of the speed at which one frame replaces another, our eyes get cheated into thinking that we see a continuous and moving picture.

Think of television.

A TV tube is simply a tube with heaps of electrons hitting the screen in a certain way, creating the illusion of form and motion.

This is what all objects are anyway. You have 5 physical senses (sight, sound, touch, smell, and taste).

Each of these senses has a specific spectrum (for example, a dog hears a different range of sound than you do; a snake sees a different spectrum of light than you do; and so on).

In other words, your set of senses perceives the sea of energy from a certain limited standpoint and makes up an image from that. It is not complete, nor is it accurate. It is just an interpretation.

All of our interpretations are solely based on the ‘internal map’ of reality that we have, and not the real truth. Our ‘map’ is a result of our personal life’s collective experiences.

Our thoughts are linked to this invisible energy and they determine what the energy forms. Your thoughts literally shift the universe on a particle-by-particle basis to create your physical life.

Look around you.

Everything you see in our physical world started as an idea, an idea that grew as it was shared and expressed, until it grew enough into a physical object through a number of steps.

You literally become what you think about most.

Your life becomes what you have imagined and believed in most.

The world is literally your mirror, enabling you to experience in the physical plane what you hold as your truth … until you change it.

Quantum physics shows us that the world is not the hard and unchangeable thing it may appear to be. Instead, it is a very fluid place continuously built up using our individual and collective thoughts.

What we think is true is really an illusion, almost like a magic trick.

Fortunately we have begun to uncover the illusion and most importantly, how to change it.

What is your body made of?

Nine systems comprise the human body including Circulatory, Digestive, Endocrine, Muscular, Nervous, Reproductive, Respiratory, Skeletal, and Urinary.

What are those made up of?

Tissues and organs.

What are tissues and organs made of?

Cells.

What are cells made of?

Molecules.

What are molecules made of?

Atoms.

What are atoms made of?

Sub-atomic particles.

What are subatomic particles made of?

Energy!

You and I are pure energy-light in its most beautiful and intelligent configuration. Energy that is constantly changing beneath the surface and you control it all with your powerful mind.

You are one big stellar and powerful Human Being.

If you could see yourself under a powerful electron microscope and conduct other experiments on yourself, you would see that you are made up of a cluster of ever-changing energy in the form of electrons, neutrons, photons and so on.

So is everything else around you. Quantum physics tells us that it is the act of observing an object that causes it to be there where and how we observe it.

An object does not exist independently of its observer! So, as you can see, your observation, your attention to something, and your intention, literally creates that thing.

This is scientific and proven.

Your world is made of spirit, mind and body.

Each of those three, spirit, mind and body, has a function that is unique to it and not shared with the other. What you see with your eyes and experience with your body is the physical world, which we shall call Body. Body is an effect, created by a cause.

This cause is Thought.

Body cannot create. It can only experience and be experienced … that is its unique function.

Thought cannot experience … it can only make up, create and interpret. It needs a world of relativity (the physical world, Body) to experience itself.

Spirit is All That Is, that which gives Life to Thought and Body.

Body has no power to create, although it gives the illusion of power to do so. This illusion is the cause of much frustration. Body is purely an effect and has no power to cause or create.

The key with all of this information is how do you learn to see the universe differently than you do now so that you can manifest everything you truly desire.

http://global1training.com/newsletter#3rd-article

Still living in an earthbound construct ...

Abbotsford Convent, Richmond,Melbourne. 

This was once a bustling boarding school for country girls who worked long hours in the laundry as they were being educated by the Catholic Nuns. 

They were involved in numerous menial tasks in order to build their character and earn their keep. 

I happened to capture this young girl (left hand window) , both hands visible, looking expectantly from one of the old windows of a very dilapidated Laundry area.

The Dense Realm - Progression - Overshadowing

This physical realm is one of the lowest and slowest of energy dimensions

It can be considered as a “pre-school for souls”, a dense formative place where souls commence their personal development journey by assuming the "illusion" of individual separateness” to maximise their experiential journey.

Spirit is at its lowest formative developmental expression on this material plane and in its very early stages of development.

This dense world is the precursor to ongoing soul progression through higher and finer energy dimensions of reality before the eventual relinking with Source – (see “abiogenesis”).

This physical realm contains all the necessary raw ingredients for a soul’s infantile development meeting Source's need to continually proliferate and further expand its diversity of awareness.

This world offers an introduction to the world of experience. 

Experience simply “is” – the propensity to label it ‘good’ or ‘bad’, as most humans have a tendency to do, is a physically governed ego assessment. People who judge themselves and others are people ‘caught’ up in their mammalian construct. They may be unaware or non-responsive to the promptings of their eternal Self.

Ego cannot help but add its opinion and personal judgement to any experience.

Reincarnation is an imposed ego state, solidified by collective belief. Ego should not be considered the determinator of spiritual progression. Fortunately, spiritual progression occurs in spite of ego. It is just a human response that tries to ‘contain’ a broader universal understanding. The good news is that ‘living out’ this human experience is a ‘one-off’ event. And its time and length is determined by this physical world, not by some divinely executed plan. We will automatically graduate from this physical existence to the next level, without any need to repeat the process. Life on this plane is risky, governed by uncertainty and is not personally predetermined. And, on our transition, we will have to deal with the consequences of all accumulated judgements, beliefs and assumptions’ that we have gathered in this life.

Discarnate energies can and do mentally influence incarnate people through what I term 'overshadowing', and they influence us to the point that we may rationalise by stating that we may have 'been round before!' Certainly if an entity can affect the machinations of a tape recorder; the human mind is not exempt!